Better person

On 12/02/2015 by Victoria Mineva

10849900_10152924893552863_6531465684268437894_nAfter New Year’s euphoria and first month’s unfulfilled promises I decide to wish you something. This is to declare your independence from other people’s expectations. As you may know most expectations lead to disappointments. They don’t do any good to the personality’s autheticy.

Last 2014 was productive to me. I published two books and that was my wish from two years. I also gave birth to my daughter. She gives me strenght to continue in what I do and to make my dreams come true. This way I will learn her to do the same. I already know that courage and success come from inner self. So I began to change once again. For good, because every change is for good even if is not understood at the moment that happens.

In the business I found important things for me – that I should better work alone or at least with people, who really appreciate me and think in at least one destination like myself. People who want to rob my freedom of actions are not welcome in my friend’s circle. Neither other, who want to manipulate me or try to draw me in their way of doing the things. I have my own way and so does everyone else.

I also took part in important project that supports people with advantages. That made me realize that all the people need appreciation, attention and want to be heard. This is one of the course I think to move on. I still learn to listen to people, not to just hear their voices. Listen means to connect with the person.

One of the goals I achieved was finding the power to say “No” to expectations, people’s mind games and tries to manipulation. This made me proud and of course I found out that my declaration inspired a lot of other people to say no and declare their own independence. I think that is a good change and of course it’s a small part of making the world better place for myself and people who know me and are inspired by me.

So after my last year’s review let me share with you how I did come to here, where I am today. My lessons are quite simple but hard to apply, but when that is done, it’s worthy. It always has been like this. I learned them the hard way, but that is the school of life and people you meet in it. So here we go:

  1. Have a time for yourself to hear your inner voice. – My time is quite limited regarding all responsibilities I have. But still, today as I write I am with myself, drinking a tea in Costa Coffee in the town I live in. It’s good to hear your own silent voice that tells you what you do. But still you need to listen and not to hide in daily routines and meeting people you don’t want to meet for example or in searching different excuse like “no time” , “don’t understand the things”, “not what expected” and etc. If you wish to hide after them do it. It’s just a lie for yourself and living in an illusion that you do what you have to /even if not like it/.
  2. Spending time with people who don’t know /or don’t want to acknowledge to themselves/ what they want. – Those people need to hang out just to be somewhere far away from their thoughts or just to kill time because they don’t know what to do by themselves. It’s like hide and seek game, because not always what you have is liked by you. Also there are a lot of expectations for something to happen. This is written by god, universe or something else. There is no thing as a fate if you don’t do something to build it. That happens when you listen to the heart’s desires and act in this destination. Don’t stay a minute with people who you don’t feel close somehow or spend the smallest bunch of time with them.
  3. Closed mind – I always here things like “I don’t have opportunities”. That’s no good at all. If you search and think you will hear and see the opportunities and the signs that your heart gives. Or intuition. This is the best way to begin the change toward opening your mind. Everything around us is filled with opportunities – people you hear to converse, played music and etc. Just try to think creative or at least different.
  4. Self-confidence and personal belief – I am an optimist and for sure I see the positive side of the things that happen to me. I always believe in myself. That does not change whatever happens to me. I know something better is to come to me with just using my own skills and knowledge. Personal belief is a must – if you believe you’re down in a hole of life, so it is, if you believe you’re on the right track, so it is. It happens in your own mind and heart. They should be in harmony.
  5. Move on – whatever happens, move on. Better days will come,but if you stay at one point, nothing will change. It’s really hard to move on, it’s painful, filled with insecurity and a lot of uncertain things, but if you don’t peer in the unknown, you won’t change or learn a thing that will makes you better person.
  6. Say “No” – that’s the hardest things to do, but it’s the most powerful tool you have to become an independent person, freed from society’s expectations and disappointments. Whatever the cost is, pay it and say “No”. That is worth.

After those small lessons I became far more confident person and I already know what exactly want. Until now I didn’t do anything special regarding what I want. But now I sure go toward my dream and I find people who think like me, who appreciate me and who really treasure me and my work. It will hurt to change yourself, but it’s worth and when you don’t expect anything, you’re not disappointed. Opposite, you become somehow carefree and happy. I say it by my own experience.

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